Sarah Tyler

"I just have one small question. How did the planets come to be alive?"

Someone keeps unzipping the couch cushions, hiding toys inside them and then closing them again. Today was the third time it's happened.
Me: Dana, did you do this?
Dana: uh huh. So no one touches toys. That makes Dana cry. *pouty face*

We asked the kids to help tidy up their toys.

Alexis: Do you know who did the most cleaning? Nicole and Me.
Dana: I didn't!
Me: I'm very happy to hear that both you and Nicole helped clean up. Next time I hope Dana helps too.
Dana: No. Mess makes me happy.

Alexis: What happened to my megafarm creations? They're all taken apart!
Dana [imitating an evil laugh with a high pitch two year old voice]: Maw ha ha!

(She played with them after they were abandoned, this was not destruction for destructions sake.)

I'm reading Dana a story. There's a mirrored page so when she's sitting in my lap I can see her and she can see me.
Me: What do you see Dana?
Dana: Grandma!

So later I'm relating this story to Nicole.

Me: I don't look like Grandma yet.
Nicole: ...
Me: ....
Nicole: Well the hair is a little different.

Tail end of a conversation we were having about what dogs are like as pets.

Alexis: And they poop inside the house!
Me: Well, you train them to go potty outside.
Alexis: Really? *Heavy Sigh* Ok, fine. We can get a dog.

Walked right into that one.

Dana (while I was trying to clean her face): Stop! Stop! I command you to stooop!

Me: Did you like dinner?
Dana: Yup! It was yummy. I love corn. I love rice. I love ketchup.
I guess we know how she feels about the fish.

Dana was doing somersaults on the couch behind Alexis during remote learning today. As I pick her up to take her away she yelled "No! I want to be distracting!!!"

Dana was scooting around on her baby riding toy and pinched her foot.
Dana (crying): Owie! owie! owwiiieeeeeee!!
Me: Dana, I think you're too big for that toy.
Dana (immediately stops crying): Wait! (Pauses and points a finder for dramatic effect) I fine!