Sarah's Journal

« January 2021

Alexis: What happened to my megafarm creations? They're all taken apart!
Dana [imitating an evil laugh with a high pitch two year old voice]: Maw ha ha!

(She played with them after they were abandoned, this was not destruction for destructions sake.)

« December 2020 »

As I'm changing my two year old's diaper
Dana: I see toes! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! I have eight toes!
Me: Let's count together. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!
Dana: I have ten toes! And three eyes, one ear and one mouth!

A little while later...

Domingo: Dana, how many eyes to have?
Dana: Th- Two!
Domingo: How many knees do you have?
Dana (looking at her knees): Five! I mean six!
Threads: Dana

« November 2020 »

"Don't worry mommy. I close eyes latter" - my two year old when I asked her if she slept during nap time.

Threads: Dana

« October 2020 »

Dear person currently trying to hack,

You may not be aware, injection attacks are easy to detect when the injection includes characters atypical of expected user input. All one needs to detect such attacks is a single line regular expression to spot the foreign characters. You may not have anticipated this, but Datayze silently alerts me when any such attempt is detected. What should have occurred to you is that Datayze escapes user input so each hacking attempt was certain to fail anyway. It should not have taken you 542 attempts to reach this conclusion.

- Sarah

I should point out there are times when would be criminals intentionally set off alarms. A classic example is a car thief who sets off the alarm enough times to annoy the owner into either ignoring the alarm, or disabling it. I checked my logs. That would be giving this guy too much credit.
Threads: Work Life

Beach day over zoom


I'm reading Dana a story. There's a mirrored page so when she's sitting in my lap I can see her and she can see me.
Me: What do you see Dana?
Dana: Grandma!

So later I'm relating this story to Nicole.

Me: I don't look like Grandma yet.
Nicole: ...
Me: ....
Nicole: Well the hair is a little different.


11:39 - I log her on to zoom for her 11:40 science class and start Dana's nap routine.
11:54 - As I am leaving the nursery. I notice Domingo standing next to Nicole, they're still waiting to be let in to the zoom meeting. I run to get my phone and message the other moms to let the science teacher know Nicole is waiting.
11:57 - Other moms report back that Nicole is in, but her camera is off. Our screen still shows that she's waiting to be let in. I try restarting zoom.
11: 58 - Zoom tells me there's an error with my camera and it can't start the video without a computer restart.
My computer is ancient. It's casing is cracked, and one of it's screws is currently in a Dixie cup over the mantel because it keeps falling out. (Nicole's on my computer, because the one purchased for her back in March is having a microphone problem.)
I start the restart.
12:09 - First signs of life starting to emerge again from my computer. I can see the desktop, but I can't click on anything because it's still booting up.
12:13 - Computer booted up enough that I can interact with it. I open zoom, but I can't log on to zoom because it's complaining about the account being in a different domain and I need to choose whether to consolidate the accounts or create a new one. I'm frantically clicking on the "acknowledge" option so I can get Nicole back on.
12:15 (a full 36 minutes after class started) - Nicole is logged in, the science teacher admits her to class. I go downstairs feeling so incredibly frayed, only to have Nicole coming running after me that it's not working.
It turned out my computer had just then finished fully booting up and was prompting me to update skype, but the prompt had taken over the full screen.
12:30 - Science class is over, it's time to go back to her regular teacher. Zoom crashed in the process.

Finally broke down and bought Nicole a new laptop.


Dana’s favorite game: lose a small eraser in the rug and hand mommy a flashlight.

We've played three times. I'm pretty sure she's won each time.
Threads: Dana


Me: Okay Dana, time for nap
Dana: Not again!

Threads: Dana


Dana knows the difference between a horse and a unicorn. She is definitely my child.

Threads: Dana


Tail end of a conversation we were having about what dogs are like as pets.

Alexis: And they poop inside the house!
Me: Well, you train them to go potty outside.
Alexis: Really? *Heavy Sigh* Ok, fine. We can get a dog.

Walked right into that one.

Hair By Alexis

Threads: Dana

Whose really in charge around here

Dana (while I was trying to clean her face): Stop! Stop! I command you to stooop!


Someone else’s child over zoom: Mom, I’m muted!

Glad to know we’re not the only ones this happens too. Solidarity anonymous other mom, solidarity.

Scooter Time


Me: Did you like dinner?
Dana: Yup! It was yummy. I love corn. I love rice. I love ketchup.
I guess we know how she feels about the fish.


Overheard from the other room: Wait. He's his FATHER?!?!
Guess what movie we got to watch for the first time ever.

Threads: Nicole

« September 2020 »

“Remote learning is not hard enough. What we need is to lose the internet at 4 past the hour, every hour.”
- said no one, ever

When you desperately need your two year old to leave your kindergartener alone


Finally unpacked the game consoles from the moving boxes (and wiped off about five years of dust!). Original Xbox worked, as did the GameCube. Missing the AV connector for the PS2.

Cutting edge, we are not.